Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Caffeinated Blogger seeks Best Friend

Hi. So. I know it's been a really long time. I'm sorry about that. There's still a lot of crap going on, but I did feel good enough to write this. I guess that's something. Plus, I come bearing... some sort of news?

Well, not really.

But (I think)I do have a funny post for you.

Earlier I was thinking about how great a weekend away would be. The only problem is, my go-to vacation spot is usually New York City. I can go alone without feeling entirely awkward, and there's public transit so I don't need a rental car. However... I don't really feel like going to New York this time. I'd love to take a relaxing trip to the beach or even like, a road trip somewhere that includes hiking in the mountains? I'm not really sure. I just know that all the places I could think of weren't really singles-friendly. I don't have a boyfriend at the moment either, so that option was out. Basically, I was left wondering just one thing:

why the HELL do all my friends live so damn far away?

the definition of a proper best friend will (probably) end up below

There's no way around it. Almost all of the people I consider my really good friends don't live within a two hour drive of me. Many of them don't even live within a two hour flight. Some of my friends live in entirely different countries. I have one friend who lives in Great Britain, and we're always joking about this or that thing we could do if it weren't for this ridiculous thing called the Atlantic Ocean getting in the way.

But I digress.

Sort of.

The point is, I began to wonder what the solution to my problem could possibly be. I thought about posting (or reading) craigslist.. but I wasn't in the mood to be murdered. 'cause like, the craigslist killer is still a thing, right? I don't know. The people on there are hella creepy though. They're all just weird and sketch. I'd rather not.

Instead my first stop was twitter. Because why not? I mean, I post a buttload of crap (pun entirely intended) on my twitter it's a wonder anyone follows me. (Oh right, it's because I give them all cookies six times a day and cry if they even hover near the unfollow button.)*

i guess you can all find out where i live now.
(just don't kill me or sign me up for spam mail, ok?)

I only got like, three applicants though. And they're all really bad at reading, apparently, because they don't live anywhere near me. I needed to reach a wider audience since apparently twitter was shamefully inept at meeting my needs.

Aha! I thought. I have a blog! I can totally find a best friend here. (...I mean, maybe.)

I even rewrote my ad for you using more than 140 characters in the desperate hope that it will attract someone nearby to apply:

Are you a somewhat interesting person who likes to do stuff? Specifically the kind of stuff that involves doing things (but tbh usually means sitting on the couch watching netflix)? Do you also live in the greater Buffalo area AND MAYBE EVEN HAVE A CAR? We might just have the greatest news of your life!! You could be the ideal best friend for an online blogger who drinks too much coffee!** If you're interested, just leave a comment here, follow her on twitter, or even stalk her in real life! She'll love it!***


* that's a joke. my followers don't get cookies. well, most of them don't... but I really will cry if you unfollow me. probably.
** Unless you don't like Harry Potter. You probably shouldn't apply then.
*** Truth be told, you should probably not stalk her in real life. Stalker.


  1. I LOVE YOU. and I am not afraid to stalk you.

  2. I love your blog. Your style of writing is so awesome. And I would love for you to check out my blog I feel like I've finally found a blogger I can relate to.

  3. I understand how you feel and I'm in New Mexico or I totally would be your best friend.

  4. I am also looking for a best friend that actually likes to do things. Unfortunately like Lookin4ws, I don't live in your area. Love the blog though!

  5. Darn Darn Darn...
    I have a solution though...
    Move to Southern California!

    Seriously though... you could try to find some groups that actually do stuff and perhaps you'll find a friend that way? I know it sounds kind of lame, but it might help.

  6. Find a local yarn shop. They have knit nights were people gather to knit and chat. Knitters love to convert other people to our cult, err I mean craft. :) good luck! (sorry, I'm in Texas)